Overcoming Worry and Anxiety

Worrying is part of everyday life and it is inevitable that sometimes we will start to feel anxious about certain areas of our lives. By worrying it shows that we care about our personal well being and are giving it serious thought. For example, by worrying about our performance at work it shows that we want to excel in this area.

However, for some people worry becomes a serious mental affliction and starts to take over their lives. They live with constant misplaced worry and anxiety over just about any possible scenario such as; the things people say and do, the things people may do to them, what will happen if their spouse leaves them or dies and more. When the worrying gets to this level it has developed from a natural symptom of everyday life to a problem that needs to be dealt with.

There is an old saying that you should be happy and not worried. It sounds uncomplicated but it really can be the basis of a stress free life if we explore it a little further. Lets say you have a debt problem. Is there any point getting worked up about it? Instead of worrying about the actual problem wouldn’t it be more productive to try and come up with a solution? If you are in a positive state of mind the solution will come to you whereas being in a state of high anxiety will damage you both mentally and physically, plus it will not help eradicate the problem. The problem is there, whether you like it or not, so it makes sense to find a way to still be happy and appreciate all the good things you have in life such as friends and family. When you begin to generate happy thoughts, happy solutions will start to appear. This is the promise of the law of attraction - that which you desire you will attract accordingly.

Worrying too much can even create a problem which did not originally exist. For example, if you are constantly worrying about your job security this could lead to you becoming unemployed because you have developed a negative attitude or your people skills have suffered. You would lose your job because YOU anticipated it and then YOU made it happen by worrying. Instead of worrying about job security you could think positively about your job performance and look at how you could improve your interactions with people, perform your work to a higher standard and be more confident in the job. By thinking positively you are likely to improve your standard of work which will indirectly improve your job security. Contrastingly, worrying can have a detrimental effect on your job performance and in the worst cases lead to you losing your job.

If you look to the past and remember all the times you have worried, how much good has it actually done you? Worry is a baseless fear that will stop you from leading a happy life. Life is for living – not worrying. The secret to a happy life is creating harmony in your environment and anxiety does not promote harmony. You should always live in the present and plan for the future, but do not let the future control you. If you make a choice to accept your problems and not worry about them you will place yourself in a much more positive state of mind and in turn be more likely to find a realistic solution. It sounds simple, but both worry and happiness are states of mind which you have full control over. If you make the right mental choice, then you will open the door to a happy, fulfilling, stress free life.

6 Suggestions for Overcoming Loneliness

Loneliness, isolation and rejection are feelings shared by people across the globe. Just because you are physically isolated it does not mean that you will automatically experience these feelings. Being alone can be a beneficial and enjoyable experience if it is a situation you choose to be in. Loneliness, isolation and rejection are feelings of disjoint from others, which can sometimes be damaging. These feelings often lead to people becoming scared of being alone. In this article I discuss how to identify if you have a problem regarding feelings of loneliness and how you can overcome such a problem.

The feelings of loneliness, isolation and rejection are often linked to personal insecurities and poor self esteem rather than physical loneliness. If you feel this is the case with you, then you need to start looking internally at the possible basis of these feelings. Some useful questions to ask yourself include:

- Does being on your own physically mean you are unloved or unwanted?

- Do you feel like a social outcast just because you do not have a partner?

- Do you feel like you need to enter into new relationships quickly even if this means undergoing lots of heartache and pain?

As you can see from the nature of these questions a lot of people move from relationship to relationship because they are looking for an answer to their state of disconnect. They feel that by being in a relationship, even if it is not the right relationship, they are no longer alone. However, this is not a realistic solution to the problem. Below I have outlined six effective ways you can remove this feeling of disconnect from your mind and destroy your fear of loneliness:

1) FIND A PURPOSE IN LIFE:- This should help fill the gap in your heart an make you feel a greater sense of worth.

2) IMMERSE YOURSELF IN A CAUSE:- This will enable you to feel and show both compassion and kindness. By giving yourself to the cause you will feel extremely needed and wanted.

3) ADOPT A PET OR TWO:- Caring for pets will reduce your feelings of loneliness because there is now a living creature out there that depends on you.

4) PICK UP A HOBBY AND PUT PASSION INTO IT:- By doing this you will be too busy to be lonely and you may also meet some people you can connect with.

5) PICK UP A READING HABIT:- Reading will expand your mind and lead your thoughts away from feelings of isolation and rejection.

6) FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF:- Regardless of your physical condition, your financial circumstances or what others say about you, YOU have to start thinking about yourself positively. This will really help you rise above the negative feelings that destroy your sense of belonging.

By implementing the above steps you should restore some of your passion for life. In doing this you will no longer rely on other people for personal happiness. By discovering your own self worth you will instead find motivation from within, and your thoughts and actions will no longer be driven by the fear of loneliness.

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If you have tried the above suggestions and still feel lonely you may want to read Admirable You, a simple guide to building self confidence, believing in yourself and making new friends.

10 Tips for Coping with Grief and Loss

Grief is an incredibly agonising human experience but also a natural reaction to loss. In life it is almost inevitable that we will experience grief and loss. Although it is a painful experience, grief is also a process that gives us strength to take on the challenges we face in life.

People cope with grief in different ways. Some can overcome it relatively quickly whilst others take time to get through it. However, it is important that when those that are close to us experience grief we help them. In this article I discuss ten ways that we can help those close to us get over grief.

1) DO NOT SAY YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THE PERSON FEELS:- Even if you have experienced the exact same losses as the person who is grieving you can still not truly understand how the person feels. As stated above, people handle grief differently so their experience will be unique to yours.

2) AVOID CLICHES:- For example do not try and tell the person that time will heal the wounds. For some people this may be true but for others the hurt will always be there.

3) AVOID TELLING THEM TO BE STRONG:- People who are dealing with grief are very vulnerable. Telling them to be strong is an unnecessary burden.

4) LOOK FOR SIGNS OF A PROLONGED PROBLEM:- You need to understand the grieving process and if you see signs of a long-term problem developing then aid the person accordingly.

5) WRITE A PERSONAL NOTE WHICH DISPLAYS COMPASSIONATE KINDNESS:- Written words are permanent and can be a real source encouragement for the griever in times ahead.

6) MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE:- Sometimes the person who is grieving just needs you to be there and offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on.

7) ENCOURAGE THE GRIEVING PERSON TO WRITE DOWN THEIR THOUGHTS:- This is a powerful way to get the grieving person to release their emotions and not keep them bottled up. It can be a great healing process.

ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO:- People who are grieving may care less about day-to-day activities such as cooking, shopping or housework. Therefore, you can offer to do these tasks for the person whilst they grieve.

9) UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF THE LOSS:- Make sure you do not trivialise the loss in the words you use to communicate with the person who is grieving.

10) SHARE YOUR FEELINGS ON LOSSES YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED:- In doing this you can empathise with the person who is grieving. Whilst you are not telling them that you understand what they are going through, you are making the attempt to connect with them.

When suffering from grief people often feel isolated and alone. If they choose to be alone then you should respect that. However, you should not avoid the subject completely. By talking about it you are showing that you truly care for the person and you want to help them get through it. Continue to show kindness and this will go a long way to helping another human being get through a dark period in their lives.

Controlling Anger

Anger is an emotional distress. If it goes unchecked it can grow into a mighty rage. Throughout history anger has been one of the motivators behind wars and acts of terrorism. Marital problems, child abuse and fights are also caused by out of control anger. It is therefore critical that anger is addressed before it starts to control us.

To begin addressing anger we first need to identify the triggers that cause it. They include:

FRUSTRATION:- Frustration is usually caused by obstacles that are in the way of what we want or need.

PAIN AND DISCOMFORT:- Pain and discomfort make us angry because they remove us from our comfort zone.

CHILDHOOD ENVIRONMENT:- If we are around anger as a child it can seriously we begin to accept it as normal behaviour.

PERSONAL INSULT:- Personal insult causes us to become angry towards the person who insulted us.

Now that we understand what is causing the anger we need to try and control it. Now we cannot control when we get angry but we can choose how and when to release the anger. Releasing anger is not necessarily unhealthy because if it is suppressed too long it can be damaging when it is eventually released. We can release anger in two ways:

1) FORGIVING:- Forgiving is one way to place anger behind you. For example, when someone insults you, you can forgive, forget and move on. If you try to look at the situation with a sense of humour it may be easier to forgive.

2) MAKE YOUR FEELINGS KNOWN:- If you cannot forgive then the only other way to release the anger is to make your feelings known. If you do this, try and do it in a calm, controlled way so that your anger does not escalate.

We can also choose to walk away from volatile situations that have the potential to escalate our anger levels. If you ask yourself which situations make you angry, you can then see them arising and walk away before they amplify. If you walk away and cool off you will be able to reduce your overall anger levels. Drinking water, lying down and stopping focussing on the negatives are all effective ways to cool down.

Once you identify what is making you angry you can start to control your anger and avoid potentially volatile situations. By reducing your anger you can really improve your mental fitness and overall health.

Overcoming your Fear of the Unknown

Although the majority of fitness advice focusses on physical fitness, mental fitness is another aspect which can be explored. In the next few articles on the Free Fitness Tips blog I will be covering a number of topics which will help you improve your mental fitness. In this article I will discuss the fear of the unknown.

There are a number of fears which can dominate our lives. Often these fears are based on absolutely nothing but stop us progressing with our lives. By overcoming these fears of the unknown we remove a huge mental obstacle which often allows us to go on and develop fully as a person, building a better life in the process.

As an example, there have probably been times when you feel trapped by the circumstances in your life. Maybe you are unhappy with your job but feel there is nothing you can do about it. You accept this as “the way it is meant to be” and continue to live in your “comfort zone” but internally you struggle with your emotions and this affects your quality of life. In reality, you can take action, get a better job and improve your quality of life but it is easier to stick with the current job and remain in the “comfort zone”.

To quote Eleanor Roosevelt:

“You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you cannot do.”

Many of us are paralysed by the fear of the unknown. We believe that the current situation will be less painful than the unknown environment that lies ahead. However, have you ever stopped to think that the unknown might be a better place and make you a happier person?

So how do we go about overcoming these fears? First, we need to be aware that a fear of the unknown exists. Then we need to reflect on why we have this fear of the unknown by thinking about what makes us uncomfortable when facing the fear. For example, if you are in an abusive relationship you may feel this is better than no relationship at all. In this situation your fear of the unknown is a fear of having no relationship. The abusive relationship makes you uncomfortable when facing the prospect of escaping this relationship and having no relationship (at least for the immediate future). However, if you take the plunge and escape the relationship you will most likely find that you are much happier and will have the opportunity to enter into a much more meaningful relationship.

Once we start to look at our fears of the unknown in an objective way it is much easier to overcome them. By doing this we can become mentally liberated from our prison of insecurities, find true happiness and begin to see the opportunities which lie ahead. If you are still struggling just think what is the worst thing that could happen? Is it really that bad? Is the current situation not worse?

When you have the courage to face your fears and take action, you will feel mentally refreshed. The most difficult part of the whole process is accepting that you have a fear. Overcoming something that you find truly terrifying is one of the biggest forms of mental liberation. It will help you build confidence and strength in yourself and have significant positive impacts on your life.

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If you have read the above article and want more information on overcoming all types of fear, try Conquer your Phobia. In this one hour audio course, program creator John Richter takes you through the complete process of overcoming your phobia.